Tag Archives: j

Even though vast stretches of land and sea come between you and me

We still look at the same sky and that is encouragement enough to know that we’ll get by


What greater sadness is there but to not hold the hand of the one you love.

Me, too

Is it because of the raging hormones? The cold weather? The influence of the world? Too often we deceive ourselves into justifying the wrong. Just because everybody does it doesn’t mean it is already right. What God has said is wrong remains wrong, despite everyone doing it and making it seem right. What is wrong in the eyes of God remains as it is even if humans make it right in their eyes.

The fact remains; we give ourselves away. Our bodies, most especially. Nothing is wrong with that, only when done at the proper place and time with the proper person, and most of all, God’s permission. Marriage is the safest place to be intimate- physically and emotionally. This is when both persons are secure. This is when God allows us to give ourselves away.

Yet the sanctity of marriage has been marred by the world. We do things only married couples should enjoy. We place ourselves at risk of getting hurt, being enslaved by sin, and being judged by God. Premarital sex is a big NO NO. And while Christians do not practice it, still we commit a crime. To a lesser extent. In the form of physical intimacy. Yes, physical intimacy is [robbing God] giving ourselves away. Without God’s permission. The hugs and the kisses and touches..they seem innocent at first. But it is still robbing God of His authority over our body. When we develop physical intimacy too naively, when we do it too frequently, we are giving authority to another person to do whatever they want with our body. Our body which, in the first place, does not belong to us. (1 Cor 6:19 What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? v.20 For ye are bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.)

I’m not saying this because I’m righteous. I’m not saying this because I’m pure. I’m saying this because this is my struggle, too. How can I avoid something I am fond of? How can I consider a sin that which I love doing?

Skinship. Hugs and kisses. Physical intimacy.

It is my weakness, too. I am a sinner, much like everyone else. And while I am writing that it is bad, that it is to be avoided, to be kept to a minimum, I find it difficult to actually practice what I preach. At the back or front of my mind, I am thinking of cuddling him and holding his hand while we talk and kissing him. To be honest, marriage excites me because of the privilege of sex.. But I’m not only after the sex part, I’m excited for living every day with him. And yeah, lots of physical intimacy.

This is my heart. It’s corrupted, I know. I won’t deny it. And I need God’s grace to help me fight this.

Full Tank

We cannot give what we do not have. In the same manner, we cannot give out love when we do not have it in us. Today’s culture has marred the image of true love. True love is not about receiving; it is about giving. So how do we give something we do not even have? It’s simple. Come to God. He is the author of love. He is love Himself, love personified.

When you want to experience true love, come to God. When your tank goes empty, come to God. Ask for a refuel. Ask from Him. You cannot ask from another person, or else his tank will go empty, too. You can never give what you can’t provide for yourself. And so, ask from God. Ask and it will be given unto you. Full and overflowing. God won’t hold back Himself from You. He never did and never will.


They fall, and they cannot be reattached to the tree once they do. They are limited. They wither and die.

If we only realize that our words are as the leaves of trees; once uttered, we can never take them back.

Will we say what’s on our mind or will we choose the silence? Will we think twice, thrice before we speak? Will we open our mouths ruthlessly or choose our words carefully? Will we speak condemnation or life? How much will we say? Will we even talk?

One life is all we have. The words we say can either build or destroy us and the people around us. Do not let the leaves fall in vain.

Ephesians 4: 29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace into the hearers.

A new look at The Prodigal Son

I have always understood this parable in the way it was presented to me. Now I see that there is another story, which, if not seen clearly, might be for granted, which I think, will lead to some loss. For my part, it held a whole new meaning. It struck close to my heart.

I had this defense mechanism of undoing. Undoing sins. Undoing faults. Undoing hurts. I think when I undo, everything is okay. I may not have erased the cause, but at least I covered it.

In the parable of the Prodigal Son, Jesus revealed to me that undoing is pointless. It says in Luke 15: 19 And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants. Here the son wanted to EARN his way back to his father, even if just as a servant. He wanted to WORK. That for me, was the undoing part. When I commit some sin, yes I repent. However at the back of my mind, I would like to do some good to cover my sin. I would like to WORK FOR FORGIVENESS, which is wrong! God freely forgives if we ask with a repentant heart; a heart that trusts in NO ONE ELSE BUT GOD to forgive Him of his sins; a heart that knows no amount of human effort, no amount of undoing, can ever wash him clean. The forgiveness of sins is not through our own; it is through Jesus and OUR FAITH IN HIM that we stand forgiven and righteous.

What did the father say? What proved me that undoing was futile?

v. 22 But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet:
v. 23 And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry:
v. 24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found, And they began to be merry.

See? The father welcomed his wayward son who repented, with open arms! He even called for a celebration! He did not tell him he needed to do something to earn his place back as a son. Our Father God is like that. When we sin, we do not need to do any good works to earn His forgiveness, to earn back His love; because in the first place, He never stopped loving us even when we were happily living a sinful life. What He requires us to do is to ” confess our sins for He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” – 1 John 1:9. It only takes one step to go back into Jesus’ arms, and that one step is not undoing, it is REPENTANCE. God will not be hard on us, He will not push us away; in fact, He will run straight into us and embrace us once again. Luke 15: 20 And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and RAN, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.

God bless you, brethren!

Standing on my own feet

At times that I am unwell, you are the first person that I like to talk to. You are the ONLY person I like to talk to. It it is both a good and bad thing. A good thing in the sense that you have allowed me to verbalized my feelings; you listen nonjudgementally, and you tell me what I need to hear. A bad thing in the sense that I am becoming dependent on you, I think. There is a time to stand up and walk on my own feet. Now is the best time to learn. I have to be strong, too! I cannot live off of your energy all the time. It’s nice that we don’t have any means of communication as of the moment; this buys me some precious time to reflect. Thanks for letting me on my own. You don’t know how vital this is to me.

Cast thy burden upon The Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.
Psalm 55:22

I’m okay. Don’t worth about me :)

P. S I miss you.

Fuzzy feelings

I only read them in books or heard them from people or watched them in Koreanovelas. Never has it occurred to me that I would be able to personally experience these wonderful things. I mean, yes, I’m normal. But I’ve never felt anything like this before. I think, my heart has never beaten so peacefully erratic. Ironic and cheesy as it sounds, it is real. Well maybe an ECG tracing would reveal a sinus rhythm, because physiologically I’m okay, yet I think it pounds so hard (it might as well jump out of my rib cage) and pumps out blood double its normal speed every time I’m with him. It doubles its effort to supply my brain with enough oxygen, because if it doesn’t, I’d be a puddle of goo when we’re together. And my brain! Oh how it ceases to function right now. I hate how I can’t write beautifully what I feel for him. All I know is, I’ve never been so alive! And I thank God He made me realize the capacity of my heart.

To my dearly beloved, you are one of God’s most awesome gift to me :)